Psychological Damage 103

It's simple. Play stupid and then throw them a curve-ball of surprise. This is kind of like my last post, but there's a different premise behind it. This can be applied to more than just flag capping. First, lets start off with the name of the technique! It is another one of my favorites of course! It's the legendary...

"Ima newb...IS WHAT I WANTED YOU TO THINK" - The "Ima newb..IS WHAT I WANTED YOU TO THINK" is somewhat legendary, because in order to pull it off, you have to have 100% confidence, and have faith that your teammates will give you enough time to pull it off. This techinque is best against cocky/allstar players. How it works: You play at a level so that you aren't giving up, but where you get owned everytime you run your route as long as you can without hurting your team. You want to give the impression that your having a horrible day, and can't hit anything. Then BAM! All of a sudden, you go in and dominate, throwing them completely off. This will severely psychologically damage them because they will think your toggle h4x0ring. It's perfect for making a cocky player think he's good, then crushing him, throwing off his gameplay, while you pretend to throw yours off.

In fact...it's alot like this picture.
And so what's the lesson we learned today newbs? Never go into a McDonald's ballpit without a metal cage. That's what I got out of it anyways.

Psychological Damage II. Only for advanced users.

The point of the picture above is not to make you laugh. There's two correct responses for that picture.

1. N00bs - "Holy shit, I never expected that."
2. Psychological Damage Pro's - "I heard that shit with my headphones from the other side of the map"

Some of my favorite Psychological Damage tactics fall into the following techniques which really screw with the opponent. My next post will have my super duper party pooper favorite.

"HE'S GOT ELEVEN TOES! That bastard." - The "He's got eleven toes! That bastard." is a crowd favorite. This technique benefits your team just as much as it benefits you. Lets say there's 6 routes to run on a map: Under, Bridge, Middle, Market, Caverns, Defense. Lets also say your >>db:spaz and your pro at flag capping (your not, but I'll let you feel good about yourself for now). Your job is to get flags, but which way do you bring the flag back?

Step 1: You go Under and touch the flag 10 times but never get to return it because you drop it in Market on the way back.

Step 2: When you respawn, you do the same thing. You go Under, get the flag, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND GO BACK UNDER!

Step 3: You just greased their Grandma's and faked them out. l0l, they thought you went market.

It's as simple as that. Do the exact same by the book strategy tons of times and switch it up. There is one key to this strategy though. Don't switch it up if they are able to stop you reliably. Then of course they know your going a different route. If you just go under and can't even get to their flag, you shouldn't switch routes. You should just uninstall so my eyes can stop bleeding everytime I have to spectate you, kthx.

So why is this technique called the "He's got eleven toes! That bastard."? Because when you take the flag and the enemy says "HE'S GOING MARKET", the next thing the enemy says is "SHIT! He went back under. Bastard must have eleven toes or something."

What they don't know is that I only have 10 toes. Now they have even more Psychological Damage because they think they are playing a FPS and losing to someone with eleven toes. Man, if I had 11 toes, I could stick the flag in my foot and still have enough toes leftover to run.

What would happen if the U.S. invented Anime first? What if White people cosplaying was the standard instead of Asians?

Everyone knows who Tifa Lockhart is. If you don't, you fail. But I am forgiving, so here is a picture of Tifa. Tifa is one of the awesomest (I will make up words as I please, god help you if you correct me) characters ever created from Final Fantasy.

Now, using Tifa as an example, what would happen if we were in a parallel universe where White people were the best at cosplaying and/or invented Anime first? I'm gonna show you, but I want you to avert your eyes if you are prone to nausea, diarrhea, or spontaneous combustion. If you are, then stop reading, and don't look at what happens down below. I will not be responsible for what happens after you see the results.

Anyways, first I want to show off my awesome new Tifa wall scroll. No home can be complete without one, or at least one Gurren Lagann wall scroll for that matter. First up, we have the world we live in today.

WORLD WE LIVE IN TODAY:
WORLD THAT NOBODY WANTS TO LIVE IN. EVER.
A world where White people have invented Anime and have become the cosplay standard.


If you like, you can click any of the images to make them bigger, as always with my blog.

Now to soothe your eyeballs, here is what a Tifa cosplay done right looks like by the correct race of people.


















Before I end this post, here is a bonus image for all of you that requires no explanation at all.
Thank god this post is over. Now I can delete that fat white guy off my comp. Don't wanna get caught looking at that when roomates come in.

Some things just aren't made to be in English.

This is mostly a rant about how much the U.S. can ruin something good. Anyone who is even remotely familiar with Anime knows that the U.S. will completely destroy any decent Anime series with god-awful dubbing and censorship. This isn't always the case, but it's a solid 95% of the time, with exceptions like Full Metal Alchemist, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, and whatever others.

My personal favorite example is Sonic-X. Sonic says things like "god dammit" "f***" "sh**" all the time. I may not speak Japanese fluently, but I know enough to know he's cursing regularly. The closest Sonic ever comes to cursing in English is "Darn", which is sad. It completely ruins the series.

Here is my favorite video clip example. The difference between the Intro's is a joke. It's so clear the English one is for kiddies, and the Japanese one is alot more fun and fitting.

GROSS ENGLISH


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Since I made a huge mistake at Best Buy once thinking I was buying Sonic-X DvD's with Japanese Audio and English Subs, and wound up buying craptastic 4KIDS TV American Garbage Sonic-X DvD's, I took the same clip in English and Japanese for all of you to see the horrid difference between the two. I think the music is what pisses me off the most in the English one, it doesn't fit at all, it almost Looney Toons-like. Nothing wrong with Looney-toons, but the music just can't be done like this, its god-awful.

I don't know why the color got a little faded, but its fine otherwise.

GROSS ENGLISH


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So what's the biggest problem with this? The problem is the U.S. public is too retarded to realize that everything they put on Cartoon Network is censored garbage with bad voices. Soooooooooo many people think Naruto in English is how it's meant to be. Uh, HELL NO. They have completely butchered Naruto's catch phrase of "Never give up" to "BELIEVE IT!". God damn its so horrible in English. Anime has such a bad reputation in the U.S. because of crap like Sonic-X and Naruto with English voices. Naruto is an AMAZING series. Don't be fooled and watch it with english subs and japanesea audio.

Happy Newb Year

Good luck to all the newbs out there who have New Year's Resolutions to not be newbs. It's a long and tough journey to just move your mouse a little bit more to headshot someone.